Back to reality

"Levi, what would you like for breakfast?" I asked this morning.

"Ummm, how about some pudding? That's a good idea. And I don't want milk or water, just sprite," Levi replied.

At that moment I realized that today was going to be a recovery day. Recovery from a very full and fun weekend. Maybe a little too much fun. It was a weekend filled with lots of laughter, lots of playing, very late bedtimes, no structure and lots of chips and juice boxes. It was fun while it lasted, but now my boys are tired and spoiled.

My oldest sister, her husband and their 3 kids came in town for the long weekend for my niece's soccer tournament. My brother was also here from Colorado Springs. The whole family got together all weekend, and the 10 cousins had such a great time together. We went to lots of soccer games and congregated at our house for cookouts, pizza, long walks and backyard fun.

I'm so thankful that my kids have family who loves them so much. It makes me smile to watch them running around with their cousins. My oldest sister's kids are 17, 15 and 13 years old, and I couldn't ask for better role models for my boys. They are fun, engaging, well-rounded and best of all, they love Jesus. My 17-year old nephew is such a sweet guy. Levi and my other sister's 2 boys look up to him, and I'm so glad! He is just the greatest kid. He told us over the weekend that he isn't interested in dating - he would rather be fishing! What a guy. And my nieces entertain all their younger cousins and take such great care of them. We would have some fabulous babysitters if only they lived closer! My other sister's 4 children are my boy's very best friends. I'm so thankful for that!

Our family hadn't all been together in a while, so it was such an encouraging weekend. I often think it would be so wonderful if we all lived closer, but maybe weekends like this wouldn't be quite as special.

I didn't take many pictures, but here are a few...






So today we are doing laundry, cleaning the house, sleeping! and getting ready for Levi's surgery tomorrow to remove his tonsils and adenoids. Yikes! Please say a prayer for him.

Happy Birthday Benjamin Elliott!

Today is Ben's 2nd birthday. How did this little guy get to be 2 years old? I have been very sensitive to the fact that becoming a big brother at only 16 months could take away from his babyhood, so I have tried to make sure that he is allowed to be little! But he's growing up before my eyes. I couldn't love and enjoy this little guy more. He is such a delight!

In honor of Ben's birthday on May 20th, here are 20 things that I love about my little Benjamin. (Yes, I know that I wrote 27 things for Levi's birthday, but his birthday was on the 27th of April. Plus, I've had 2 more years with Levi. I thought I should make that disclaimer so that nobody thinks I play favorites!)

1. You know how to make someone feel loved. Whether I've been gone for a few hours or just went upstairs for a minute, you always run to me with the biggest smile on your face and give me a hug that makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world.

2. Every night at dinner we ask each other what our favorite thing of the day was, and every night you answer with a grin, "Thomas". Without fail. Every night. And without fail it makes us all laugh.

3. You absolutely love your big brother Levi. You imitate him and play just like he does. You don't know what to do with yourself when Levi is at preschool. He is your hero, and you do everything you can to keep up with him.

4. You are a sweet and gentle "big" brother. While I was so nervous that you would be jealous of Graham, you have never shown a single sign of that. You love your baby brother "Gam" and take delight in him. It's just precious when I catch you singing to him and sharing your toys with him.

5. I love the way you smile with your entire body. Your little nose scruntches up, your eyes sparkle, and you often put your hands together in a bashful way.

6. When you are watching television or playing with something intently, it's absolutely impossible to get your attention. You have selective hearing down pat.

7. You are a chatterbox, constantly walking around the house jabbering about something. You talked in complete paragraphs long before we were able to understand a single word.

8. Trains and cars are your very favorite. You know the name of every single one and could play with them all day long. When you were just learning to talk, you said "lightning" and "thomas" much more than "mama". I love the way you get down and watch their wheels turn when you play with them.

9. You love to sing. You are often singing a Thomas song while playing trains, and you belt out praise songs from your car seat. It cracks me up how you accentuate some words much more than others.

10. You are an independent little guy and often want to do things all by yourself. You don't want us to help you into your car seat or help you with your food. After church last week there was a long line behind you going up the stairs because you insisted on climbing up the long flight all by yourself.

11. You are all boy - loud, rough and crazy! Case in point...tonight at dinner you crumbled up your chocolate cupcake, made it into dirt and then crashed your cars into it.

12. Not just any sippy cup will do for you. You are very particular about which one you want at any particular moment. It drives me crazy and makes me laugh at the same time!

13. You have a wonderful imagination and can entertain yourself so easily. You are known to go into the playroom and shut the door so that nobody bothers you.

14. You love to be outside doing just about anything. Playgrounds, however, are your favorite place in the world.

15. I think just about everyone who knows you would agree that you have the most expressive face. You can furrow your brow better than anyone I know.

16. You are such a tough little guy. When you fall down and get hurt, you just get right back up and keep going. Nothing keeps you down for long.

17. Your froggy is deeply loved by you. And when you have him in your hands, your thumb goes straight to your mouth. It's just precious.

18. You love to hold my hand. It's so sweet. Whether we're on a walk or just walking into the store, you ask to hold my hand and will not let go! I know this won't last long so I'm treasuring every moment of it.

19. Putting you to bed at night is a highlight of my day. We cuddle as I read a book to you, although you try really hard to read lots of books and each of them several times. When we get to the end of a book, you just push the pages back to the beginning and say, "again". I love to sing our song and pray with you. And then I lay you in your crib and you give me the biggest smile and say, "Bye, Mommy!" It doesn't get much better than that.

20. You remind me so much of your Daddy, which of course I love because your Daddy is pretty special. You have his easy-going, laid-back personality that everyone loves and wants to be around. There is no one I would rather you be like than your Daddy.

Happy Birthday, Ben. I love you!

We threw a ball party for Ben!

We celebrated Ben's 2nd birthday on Sunday night with a ball party. Ben absolutely loves playing with balls so it was the perfect party for him. We were able to celebrate with family and some dear friends. I made my first homemade decorative cake, and let's just say that icing and I are not on good terms right now. This ball cake may not look very difficult, but do not let its looks deceive you. I don't think making cakes is a talent of mine. Actually, although it was a bit harder than I thought it would be, I had a lot of fun making it for him.
We had a dinner of round foods - pizza (Ben's very favorite), salad (not really round but served in a round bowl), and fruit cut up into balls. Of course, our dessert was the ball cake and cupcakes.
Ben didn't know what to think about everyone singing Happy Birthday to him. He actually said "no" a few times. He wasn't sure about all the attention.
He had a lot of fun opening up the presents and had lots of help, especially from his big brother who had to keep being reminded that they were Ben's presents.
We set up the bounce house in the backyard and filled up a swimming pool with 500 little balls. It didn't take long, however, before the pool was turned upside down and got a hole. There were also lots of big balls in the yard for the kids to play with and take home as favors. It was a gorgeous night out, and I think the kids all "had a ball". It was so great to watch Ben play with his beloved cousins and a couple of good little friends. He had a big smile on his face all evening!






It was a wonderful night to celebrate our sweet little Ben. I could just eat this guy up. What a joy he is to his daddy and I. We couldn't be prouder of him, and we couldn't possibly have more fun with him.

Because Biblical authority is important in our family...

A couple of days ago Levi found a big spider crawling across our kitchen ceiling, and we joined together to rescue it. Well, I'll be honest...to kill it. Because the same thing occured last week, Levi knew to get out the broom and then stand back. He never volunteered to do the job, but he sure did cheer me on. It was an easy mission, and as I wadded up the paper towel with the remains of the spider, Levi insightfully asked me, "Mommy, do spiders stink?"

"No, Levi. I don't think they stink."

"Oh yeah, Mommy. That's right. Remember, the Bible says that spiders don't stink!"

"Really, Levi?", I said a bit sarcastically. "I guess I didn't know the Bible says that."

He seemed pretty sure about it, and I didn't want to crush his spirits about his interpretation of scriptures.

About an hour later while Ben and Graham were napping, Levi had a friend over, and the two of them were playing in the backyard while I was planting some flowers. It was great because I could hear their 4-year old conversations yet I was far enough removed that they didn't really know I was there.

I heard Levi telling his friend about the spider incident. His friend rightfully said, "yuck!", when Levi told him about the big spider. But then Levi gave his friend some good spirit-changing Biblical truth.

"No, Jack. Spiders don't stink. Jesus says in the Bible that they don't stink."

Jack didn't respond. He was probably wondering why his mom and dad hadn't read him that story in the Bible!

Graham's dedication

Our family has lots of celebrations this spring. We celebrated Levi's birthday at the end of April, then today had Graham's dedication and Mother's Day, and next week we will celebrate Ben's 2nd birthday. I am a planner, and I like to think through things and be well organized. However, being a mom of 3 little guys, I am learning that planning can only go so far. There are so many uncertainties and unknowns in our days, and nothing is picture perfect. Sometimes I wish that everything would just be nice and orderly, but I guess that wouldn't be life. It certainly wouldn't be motherhood.

We were so excited to dedicate Graham today on Mother's Day. Michael's mom and dad came to town for a day, and my mom joined us as well. I planned a lunch at our house after church. Everything went as planned until Ben woke up this morning burning up. He was fine yesterday, but after he vomited a couple of times we realized that he was definitely not fine now. Poor guy. What were we supposed to do? We decided that we would just have to cancel everything, but then his fever broke and he started to act pretty normal so we deciced to go through with the day as planned, with a few little changes including having someone take Ben straight home after the dedication instead of going to the nursery.

We made it to church, and it went great. It really was a special time for our family. Ben was definitely sick, and I was so worried that he was going to vomit on stage but thankfully, he never did. What an unforgettable memory that would have been! The sweet little guy just stared off into space and made me feel like a horrible mother for making him be there. He was a trooper though and fell asleep in Daddy's arms during the rest of the service. Most importantly, since the day was about him, little Graham Oliver enjoyed his special day and was on his best behavior. Michael was holding him and he kept reaching out to play with my hair and laughing. It was too sweet.

We had a great lunch at our house. The boys loved spending time with grandma, mimi and papa, as well as our good friends Kevin and Deborah. We never dreamed that we would be dedicating another little guy this spring, but I couldn't be more thankful that I get to be Graham Oliver's mom. I am blessed beyond belief. What a wonderful way to spend Mother's Day. I love you, little man!


The 5 of us. (We really were cruel for making Ben take a picture.)


Grandma and Graham

Mimi and Papa with Graham

Poor Ben just cuddled up in a chair and watched a video. Normally, when my kids are sick I just want to hold them all day. I felts so badly that I wasn't able to do that. He did gets lots of attention though.


Graham's dedication is a good time for Michael and I to think back to our parenting commitments. Before Levi was born we went to Aspen for a weekend and thought through what our most important priorities would be as parents. I wanted something tangible to look at and hold us accountable.

What We Commit To Teaching Our Children...
I. To Know Christ As Their Personal Savior
a. Be active in church
b. Share the store of Jesus from birth on
c. Pray for them and teach them to pray from the very beginning
d. Talk openly about our personal relationship with Jesus

II. To Find Satisfaction in God
a. Pray with them on a daily basis
b. Have family Bible studies and devotions
c. Praise God as a family
d. Laugh together often
e. Don't focus on material things
f. Maintain a kingdom-focused mentality

III. To Live Life To Its Fullest
a. Go on regular family vacations - introduce them to the world and God's creation
b. Regularly participate in family activities (biking, hiking, etc.)
c. Teach them to be well rounded, helping them learn their interests and talents

IV. To Love Others
a. Laugh, play, talk and show affection as a family
b. Love them unconditionally
c. Invest in freindships (model it!)
d. Introduce them to the less fortunate and participate as a family in helping to provide for their needs

V. Work Hard, Play Later...But Do Play
a. Require them to do chores
b. Teach them to be responsible for their things
c. Place priority on learning and education
d. Teach them the value of a dollar through working

We weren't parents yet when we created these commitments, but I still treasure each one of them. While there are many other things that we think are important in raising these guys, the most important remains to introduce them to Jesus Christ. While their happiness is important, it won't mean a thing if they don't know Jesus as their Savior.

Happy Mother's Day and happy dedication day, Graham!

So thankful for this season...

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1




We are loving the warmer weather (finally!) and playing outside every chance we can get. What fun it is to see the boys laugh, play and enjoy each other.

Monday meltdowns

I have had quite the day. It's about 2:30 in the afternoon. Ben and Graham are both asleep, and Levi is playing at a friend's house. I'm all alone. I wasn't sure what I would do with this time, but after picking up the house, cleaning up from lunch, doing some laundry and making a marinade for dinner tonight, the time is suddenly almost gone. I need to be cleaning out Levi's closet but there's nothing more stressful and overwhelming than going through the boys' clothes and trying to figure out what fits who, what needs to be put away, moved to another closet or just thrown out! And stress is not what I need right now. So instead of starting another project I decided to sit down and write out a few thoughts.

Mondays always seem to be a little chaotic. I think the boys go through withdrawal from having their daddy around, and I guess as I think about it, I do too! It's so nice to have a second set of hands for a couple of days. But this particular Monday started out a bit more stressful than usual.

Graham woke up early this morning and while I was feeding him breakfast I turned on the Today show where they were discussing birth order and how it affects personality and success in life. We've all heard so much about this, and I know I studied a lot about it in grad school. But there was a recent study claiming that parents spend 30 percent more time with their first born than they do all subsequent children, which obviously positively impacts the first born and yes, you guessed it, negatively impacts the others. Ouch. Then they discussed how first born children tend to be more successful and middle children end up lumped in the middle and rebellious. I really don't know exactly what they said, but as I listened my mind started spinning. With 3 little guys so close in age, how do I give them all what they need? How do I give them each that one-on-one time? How do I foster their independence and individuality? How do I allow them to be who God created them to be and not who I have created/influenced them to be?

My thoughts were only more perplexed once Ben and Levi woke up. Graham was neglected as I tried to get the boys' breakfast and mediate the arguments. And there were lots of arguments this morning! Ben really only wants to play with whatever Levi loves, which right now happens to be ALL of his new birthday toys. Of course, Levi isn't too interested in sharing those new toys, and I don't feel that I can make him. We have told him that he doesn't have to share his new things, but it's really kind if he chooses to. He does choose to share them sometimes, but at other times kindness isn't high on his priority list. So Ben was screaming a lot and was not easily distracted. Both boys required a lot of redirection and discipline. I got Graham down for his nap much later than he would have liked and realized that I hadn't even gotten to play with him this morning. After his nap, I thought. Then I will be able to get down on the floor and play with him. Yeah, right.

So then I attempted to get the boys settled so I could shower and get dressed. They decided to watch Sesame Street and there was actually some peace while I got ready. I really wanted to play with the boys while Graham was sleeping but by the time everyone was dressed and ready for the day, Graham was up. After nursing him and getting him dressed, it was time for lunch.

And lunch was a post all in itself. The boys wanted to eat outside, and we put on quite the show for the neighbors. One of them was whining through the entire lunch. "More milk," "more peanut butter and jelly," "my tortilla broke," blah, blah, blah. And then Graham got sick of sitting in his exersaucer and started screaming. I finally got some lunch for myself and was quite pleased with the taco salad I made with leftovers, but it didn't last long. Soon after I sat down both Levi and Ben started eating all of it and fighting over which piece of MY LUNCH was theirs. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up! I actually am being dramatic because really, I was laughing through most of it.

And then it was time to take Levi to his friend's house for a playdate. Levi, eager to go, went happily to the car, but Ben decided to throw a nice little tantrum. The poor guy is getting his 2-year molars and is just not very happy right now. We had just swung by the pharmacy to pick up a perscription that I have been meaning to get for over a week now when I realized that Ben was sound asleep. Lovely! I turned the music up and tried to wake him up. "Just a few more minutes," I told him, "and we can go home and take a nice, long nap." We arrived at our friend's house, and I was hoping to leave Ben in the car, but of course, he wanted in on the action. But he also wanted to stay at the friend's house so you can only imagine the tantrum that errupted when I carried him out. He was screaming, "Levi!", as if we had just dropped off his big brother at a new home never to be seen again. We got back to the car where Graham was also screaming his head off. I made the 5 minute drive home with two SCREAMING children in my backseat - the two children who will never get as much time with their parents and will wind up in a counselor's office someday talking about how neglected their childhoods' were. I just laughed the entire way home, attempting, of course, to keep myself from crying.

Both boys went down for their naps, and it was silent in the house. That doesn't happen very often. I started to think through everything I had heard on the Today show and how I can already see so much of that playing out in my boys. I then started to think about how I, their mom, have such an impact on their personality. I'm raising men, not little boys. Someday these little guys will grow up and become husbands and fathers, and so much of their childhood will significantly impact who they are as an adult. Gulp! Am I labeling my children, something I've never wanted to do? This is the "easy child", "the tough one", "the independent one", "the one that needs a little more help", etc. Am I looking for my children to fill some void in my own life, creating one or all of my boys to NEED me now and into adulthood? A mama's boy at age 4 is one thing, but a mama's boy at age 30 is another. And how can I give each one of these boys the one-on-one time that they need? It's a priority for Michael and I, but they're all so little and require so much. As you can tell, my thoughts were racing, and it was all becoming too much to swallow.

And as I prayed through all of these things and gave them to the Lord, He gently gave me a couple of verses I "know" so well yet live on so little.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-31

The truth is that God loves these 3 little guys much more than I ever will, and He knows them completely because He created them! Yes, I need to be mindful of how I interact with them and the impact that has on their future. Michael and I need to be intentional to spend one-on-one time with each one of them and to encourage each of them in who God has created them to be. We need to be determined not to label them and allow our perceptions of them to influence their behavior. As parents, we need to be moldable and teachable, always striving to do better and be better. But, at the same time, my soul can be still because I know who God is. I can rest in His perfect will as I take His yoke upon me and learn from Him.

It's now 9:30pm. Ben woke up from his nap as I was writing the last paragraph. His typical 3-hour nap was only 2 hours today and while at first I sighed, I then realized that I was just given an entire hour to spend with just Ben. Thank you, Lord. The funny thing is that he didn't really want to play with me the whole hour. I wanted to say, "Ben, don't you know? You're the middle child and you need one-on-one time with me or you're going to become a rebellious teenager!"

My children won't have perfect chidhoods. Far from it. But I pray that they will be raised in a home filled with the Spirit and Word of God. And right now I'm praying that tomorrow will be a less dramatic day, but since tomorrow is Tuesday and swim lesson day (see previous post), maybe I should just look forward to Wednesday.