Our family has lots of celebrations this spring. We celebrated Levi's birthday at the end of April, then today had Graham's dedication and Mother's Day, and next week we will celebrate Ben's 2nd birthday. I am a planner, and I like to think through things and be well organized. However, being a mom of 3 little guys, I am learning that planning can only go so far. There are so many uncertainties and unknowns in our days, and nothing is picture perfect. Sometimes I wish that everything would just be nice and orderly, but I guess that wouldn't be life. It certainly wouldn't be motherhood.
We were so excited to dedicate Graham today on Mother's Day. Michael's mom and dad came to town for a day, and my mom joined us as well. I planned a lunch at our house after church. Everything went as planned until Ben woke up this morning burning up. He was fine yesterday, but after he vomited a couple of times we realized that he was definitely not fine now. Poor guy. What were we supposed to do? We decided that we would just have to cancel everything, but then his fever broke and he started to act pretty normal so we deciced to go through with the day as planned, with a few little changes including having someone take Ben straight home after the dedication instead of going to the nursery. 
We made it to church, and it went great. It really was a special time for our family. Ben was definitely sick, and I was so worried that he was going to vomit on stage but thankfully, he never did. What an unforgettable memory that would have been! The sweet little guy just stared off into space and made me feel like a horrible mother for making him be there. He was a trooper though and fell asleep in Daddy's arms during the rest of the service. Most importantly, since the day was about him, little Graham Oliver enjoyed his special day and was on his best behavior. Michael was holding him and he kept reaching out to play with my hair and laughing. It was too sweet.
We had a great lunch at our house. The boys loved spending time with grandma, mimi and papa, as well as our good friends Kevin and Deborah. We never dreamed that we would be dedicating another little guy this spring, but I couldn't be more thankful that I get to be Graham Oliver's mom. I am blessed beyond belief. What a wonderful way to spend Mother's Day. I love you, little man!
The 5 of us. (We really were cruel for making Ben take a picture.) 
Grandma and Graham
Mimi and Papa with Graham
Poor Ben just cuddled up in a chair and watched a video. Normally, when my kids are sick I just want to hold them all day. I felts so badly that I wasn't able to do that. He did gets lots of attention though.
Graham's dedication is a good time for Michael and I to think back to our parenting commitments. Before Levi was born we went to Aspen for a weekend and thought through what our most important priorities would be as parents. I wanted something tangible to look at and hold us accountable.
What We Commit To Teaching Our Children...
I. To Know Christ As Their Personal Savior
a. Be active in church
b. Share the store of Jesus from birth on
c. Pray for them and teach them to pray from the very beginning
d. Talk openly about our personal relationship with Jesus
II. To Find Satisfaction in God
a. Pray with them on a daily basis
b. Have family Bible studies and devotions
c. Praise God as a family
d. Laugh together often
e. Don't focus on material things
f. Maintain a kingdom-focused mentality
III. To Live Life To Its Fullest
a. Go on regular family vacations - introduce them to the world and God's creation
b. Regularly participate in family activities (biking, hiking, etc.)
c. Teach them to be well rounded, helping them learn their interests and talents
IV. To Love Others
a. Laugh, play, talk and show affection as a family
b. Love them unconditionally
c. Invest in freindships (model it!)
d. Introduce them to the less fortunate and participate as a family in helping to provide for their needs
V. Work Hard, Play Later...But Do Play
a. Require them to do chores
b. Teach them to be responsible for their things
c. Place priority on learning and education
d. Teach them the value of a dollar through working
We weren't parents yet when we created these commitments, but I still treasure each one of them. While there are many other things that we think are important in raising these guys, the most important remains to introduce them to Jesus Christ. While their happiness is important, it won't mean a thing if they don't know Jesus as their Savior.
Happy Mother's Day and happy dedication day, Graham!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Graham's dedication
Thursday, May 8, 2008
So thankful for this season...
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1
We are loving the warmer weather (finally!) and playing outside every chance we can get. What fun it is to see the boys laugh, play and enjoy each other.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Monday meltdowns
I have had quite the day. It's about 2:30 in the afternoon. Ben and Graham are both asleep, and Levi is playing at a friend's house. I'm all alone. I wasn't sure what I would do with this time, but after picking up the house, cleaning up from lunch, doing some laundry and making a marinade for dinner tonight, the time is suddenly almost gone. I need to be cleaning out Levi's closet but there's nothing more stressful and overwhelming than going through the boys' clothes and trying to figure out what fits who, what needs to be put away, moved to another closet or just thrown out! And stress is not what I need right now. So instead of starting another project I decided to sit down and write out a few thoughts.
Mondays always seem to be a little chaotic. I think the boys go through withdrawal from having their daddy around, and I guess as I think about it, I do too! It's so nice to have a second set of hands for a couple of days. But this particular Monday started out a bit more stressful than usual.
Graham woke up early this morning and while I was feeding him breakfast I turned on the Today show where they were discussing birth order and how it affects personality and success in life. We've all heard so much about this, and I know I studied a lot about it in grad school. But there was a recent study claiming that parents spend 30 percent more time with their first born than they do all subsequent children, which obviously positively impacts the first born and yes, you guessed it, negatively impacts the others. Ouch. Then they discussed how first born children tend to be more successful and middle children end up lumped in the middle and rebellious. I really don't know exactly what they said, but as I listened my mind started spinning. With 3 little guys so close in age, how do I give them all what they need? How do I give them each that one-on-one time? How do I foster their independence and individuality? How do I allow them to be who God created them to be and not who I have created/influenced them to be?
My thoughts were only more perplexed once Ben and Levi woke up. Graham was neglected as I tried to get the boys' breakfast and mediate the arguments. And there were lots of arguments this morning! Ben really only wants to play with whatever Levi loves, which right now happens to be ALL of his new birthday toys. Of course, Levi isn't too interested in sharing those new toys, and I don't feel that I can make him. We have told him that he doesn't have to share his new things, but it's really kind if he chooses to. He does choose to share them sometimes, but at other times kindness isn't high on his priority list. So Ben was screaming a lot and was not easily distracted. Both boys required a lot of redirection and discipline. I got Graham down for his nap much later than he would have liked and realized that I hadn't even gotten to play with him this morning. After his nap, I thought. Then I will be able to get down on the floor and play with him. Yeah, right.
So then I attempted to get the boys settled so I could shower and get dressed. They decided to watch Sesame Street and there was actually some peace while I got ready. I really wanted to play with the boys while Graham was sleeping but by the time everyone was dressed and ready for the day, Graham was up. After nursing him and getting him dressed, it was time for lunch.
And lunch was a post all in itself. The boys wanted to eat outside, and we put on quite the show for the neighbors. One of them was whining through the entire lunch. "More milk," "more peanut butter and jelly," "my tortilla broke," blah, blah, blah. And then Graham got sick of sitting in his exersaucer and started screaming. I finally got some lunch for myself and was quite pleased with the taco salad I made with leftovers, but it didn't last long. Soon after I sat down both Levi and Ben started eating all of it and fighting over which piece of MY LUNCH was theirs. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up! I actually am being dramatic because really, I was laughing through most of it.
And then it was time to take Levi to his friend's house for a playdate. Levi, eager to go, went happily to the car, but Ben decided to throw a nice little tantrum. The poor guy is getting his 2-year molars and is just not very happy right now. We had just swung by the pharmacy to pick up a perscription that I have been meaning to get for over a week now when I realized that Ben was sound asleep. Lovely! I turned the music up and tried to wake him up. "Just a few more minutes," I told him, "and we can go home and take a nice, long nap." We arrived at our friend's house, and I was hoping to leave Ben in the car, but of course, he wanted in on the action. But he also wanted to stay at the friend's house so you can only imagine the tantrum that errupted when I carried him out. He was screaming, "Levi!", as if we had just dropped off his big brother at a new home never to be seen again. We got back to the car where Graham was also screaming his head off. I made the 5 minute drive home with two SCREAMING children in my backseat - the two children who will never get as much time with their parents and will wind up in a counselor's office someday talking about how neglected their childhoods' were. I just laughed the entire way home, attempting, of course, to keep myself from crying.
Both boys went down for their naps, and it was silent in the house. That doesn't happen very often. I started to think through everything I had heard on the Today show and how I can already see so much of that playing out in my boys. I then started to think about how I, their mom, have such an impact on their personality. I'm raising men, not little boys. Someday these little guys will grow up and become husbands and fathers, and so much of their childhood will significantly impact who they are as an adult. Gulp! Am I labeling my children, something I've never wanted to do? This is the "easy child", "the tough one", "the independent one", "the one that needs a little more help", etc. Am I looking for my children to fill some void in my own life, creating one or all of my boys to NEED me now and into adulthood? A mama's boy at age 4 is one thing, but a mama's boy at age 30 is another. And how can I give each one of these boys the one-on-one time that they need? It's a priority for Michael and I, but they're all so little and require so much. As you can tell, my thoughts were racing, and it was all becoming too much to swallow.
And as I prayed through all of these things and gave them to the Lord, He gently gave me a couple of verses I "know" so well yet live on so little.
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-31
The truth is that God loves these 3 little guys much more than I ever will, and He knows them completely because He created them! Yes, I need to be mindful of how I interact with them and the impact that has on their future. Michael and I need to be intentional to spend one-on-one time with each one of them and to encourage each of them in who God has created them to be. We need to be determined not to label them and allow our perceptions of them to influence their behavior. As parents, we need to be moldable and teachable, always striving to do better and be better. But, at the same time, my soul can be still because I know who God is. I can rest in His perfect will as I take His yoke upon me and learn from Him.
It's now 9:30pm. Ben woke up from his nap as I was writing the last paragraph. His typical 3-hour nap was only 2 hours today and while at first I sighed, I then realized that I was just given an entire hour to spend with just Ben. Thank you, Lord. The funny thing is that he didn't really want to play with me the whole hour. I wanted to say, "Ben, don't you know? You're the middle child and you need one-on-one time with me or you're going to become a rebellious teenager!"
My children won't have perfect chidhoods. Far from it. But I pray that they will be raised in a home filled with the Spirit and Word of God. And right now I'm praying that tomorrow will be a less dramatic day, but since tomorrow is Tuesday and swim lesson day (see previous post), maybe I should just look forward to Wednesday.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Gordon birthday
There are lots of common themes for little boys' birthday parties...pirates, Thomas, Cars, cowboys, Diego, etc. But have you ever heard of a Gordon party? Levi decided several months ago that he wanted a Gordon birthday party and was pretty adamant about it. Gordon is the big express engine from Thomas the Train. He's the biggest and fastest (and the #4 engine), which is probably why Levi has always loved him. I was confused at first about how we would have a Gordon party, but it was so much fun to create!
Levi's 3rd birthday party was at the farmstead and all he talks about from the party is the balloons. It was a really windy day, and his balloons were blowing all over the place, which made him scream! We had to take the balloons to the car, and Levi never really recovered. So I really wanted Levi to enjoy this birthday. He was a part of the entire planning process, and I'm happy to report that he had the greatest time! I don't think I've ever seen him so happy and excited. 
At first the kids just played outside in the backyard. We set up our bounce house so they jumped on that and the trampoline and played on the swingset. We played a game of throwing coal into the troublesome trucks and then went inside for cake. Levi was so excited when he saw his cake. I worked on it for hours! Just kidding. I quickly realized that a Gordon cake was way beyond my abilities so I found a girl who could make it for me. I was amazed at how much it looked like Gordon! 
We then opened presents (emphasis on the we!) I think all 15 kids had their hands in the process. At times I think all 15 kids were within a foot of me! 
Thankfully, the present opening ended quickly and we scooted the kids to the front yard where we had a barrel train. I had the idea to get a barrel train a long time ago and started calling pumpkin patches to see if anyone had one that we could bring to our house. They all laughed at me, as did my hubby! The boys had taken a ride on a little barrel train at a blueberry patch out in the county just south of us, so I attempted to get a hold of them. But since it's not blueberry season they didn't answer their phone and I could never get them to call me back. Michael told me to give up, but I was determined to get one! You are probably realizing by now where Levi gets his persistence and strong will! I finally convinced the nice old man at the blueberry patch to let us borrow the barrels for the party. Michael pulled the kids around the neighborhood with a riding lawnmower that we borrowed from a neighbor. Michael had been dressed up as Sir Topham Hatt, the conductor of the railroad, but somehow the coat and hat were off soon after the party began. 
I think all of the kids had such a great time and the party was just perfect for Levi. He was absolutely beaming all day! He especially loved the Woody and Buzz Lightyear that his cousins and aunt & uncle gave him. This is how we found him in his bed when we checked on him at the end of the night. I think it's a sign of a perfect day...
Sunday was Levi's actual birthday, and he woke up saying that he wanted to have a Gordon party "over and over again." Sorry Levi, not again! After a day of church and a friend's birthday party, we just celebrated at home with our family of 5 and Grandma. Levi wanted to have tacos for dinner and then we had some leftover Gordon cake. He was absolutely beaming all day! 
It was such a fun birthday weekend. There's nothing better as a parent than to see your child with a glowing smile from ear to ear for 48 hours straight. And now we have a 4-year old...Yikes!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Happy Birthday buddy!
Today is Levi's 4th Birthday. It seems like it was just yesterday that he came into our world, but when I think of all that has happened and how much we have all changed, it seems like he's been with us forever. I'm one of those moms who gets all sentimental and teary eyed at my kids' birthdays. I don't know why because I really don't want them to stay little forever. It's so much fun to watch them grow and change and to be a part of what God is doing in their lives. I just don't want it all to happen so fast. I don't want to miss a thing!
We are having such a fun weekend. With a party yesterday and a family celebration today, Levi is beaming! Levi insisted on a Gordon birthday party...that was definitely a stretch for my creative skills! For those of you who don't know who Gordon is (probably most of you), he is the express engine from Thomas. I will post pictures soon from all the festivities.
Levi, in honor of your birthday on April 27th, here are 27 things that I love about you -
1. Your smile can light up a room, and it daily melts my heart. There's just something about it.
2. I absolutely love your passion. It can be frustrating at times, but I love it all the same. What you care about, you care about deeply, but if you aren't interested in something, good luck pushing you into it. (ie, swim lessons!)
3. With your imagination, you can become just about anything or anyone. I love listening to you play and act out scenes from movies. I love watching you create things.
4. You don't just watch television and movies, you interact with them. It's actually fun to watch you watch t.v.
5. We can count on you to remember just about everything. Your memory amazes us! You hear a song once and know every word. You remember events from a year ago and who was there. You obviously did not inherit this from your daddy who can't remember what we did yesterday.
6. You love people! You know everyone's name, and you care about others deeply. You can make friends with just about anyone.
7. You love to sing and it's just precious to watch. There is nothing better than watching you belt out praise songs in the back of the minivan.
8. A drive to the grocery store becomes an adventure with you in the car. "Faster, Mommy. The truck is getting closer." The other day we were getting on the highway and you said, "Oh good, we're getting on the race track!"
9. You don't miss a thing. You are constantly soaking in all that is going on around you. We aren't able to hide much anymore.
10. We never have to wonder what you're thinking or how you're feeling. You express yourself so naturally.
11. Instead of coming into our room when you wake up early in the morning or in the middle of the night, you sit in the hallway outside our door and make little noises and fake coughs. We've told you many times that you can go ahead and come into our room, but you don't seem to listen. It cracks us up!
12. You absolutely love your baby brother Graham. You speak to him in a high pitched voice and love to entertain him. When he cries you are the first to try and console him.
13. I receive several compliments from you daily. "Mommy, I love your necklace," or "I love your pink toes". You always notice when I wear something new or different. The other day I had on a jean jacket that I hadn't worn in a long time and you said, "Mommy, I love your jacket. Where did you get it?" I laughed so hard, but your daddy didn't. I think he rolled his eyes!
14. The entire community and family are covered in prayer each night. When we are anxious to get you to sleep and try to speed up the bedtime process by praying for groups of people instead of individuals, you don't allow it. "No Mommy. I need to pray for ALL my people!"
15. You are Ben's protector. Let's just say that you aren't always the kindest to him, but you do not allow others to be unkind to him. If one of your friends hurts him or takes something from him, you are always there to back him up. It's so fun to watch.
16. I love watching you run. You are "Lightning fast" and run with passion.
17. When you're ready for something, you're ready. We have learned not to push you too much because you operate on your own sweet little time.
18. You are a jumping machine on the trampoline. While you are usually a pretty cautious child, you are a wild man on the trampoline.
19. I feel so loved when I'm greeted by you. Whether it's in the morning when you wake up or when I pick you up from Sunday school or preschool, I receive the warmest hug and brightest smile.
20. You are never afraid to express your love. You tell all of us several times a day that you love us. And when you are upset with us, you aren't afraid to express that either.
21. There's a magical twinkle in your eye. I can't explain it, but those of us who love you understand what I'm talking about.
22. You know what you want and you don't back down. Persistent, determined and strong willed are all accurate descriptions. Those qualities can be difficult to parent, but we can't wait to see what God does with that.
23. You can make such a cool train track. Although it's a fun activity that you and Daddy do together, you don't really need his help anymore, and you definitely don't need mine!
24. Your joy and energy radiate from you and make you a delight to be around. You are so much fun!
25. You are all boy. You love to build things and destroy them. You never sit still!
26. Your daddy loves that you like Tiger Woods. On Sundays when you and Daddy watch golf, you look for the red shirt and exclaim, "There's Tiger!"
27. Levi's teacher wrote in her assessment, "what a friendly little boy with the sweetest heart I've ever seen!" That sums it up pretty well.
We love you, Levi. Happy Birthday!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Swim lessons
Tuesday. I used to think it was just another day of the week, but lately it has become a very emotional day at our house because, of course, it's swim lesson day. Yes, I know. Swim lessons are supposed to be fun. Kids are supposed to love them. Levi never received that memo.
Levi is a very cautious child. It takes him a while to get used to a new idea or activity. This can be a good quality, but for his mom and dad, it can also be exhausting! He is also a child who wears his emotions on his sleeve. You never have to guess how he is feeling about something. There are a lot of things that he absolutely loves and then there are those things that he absolutely hates. Swim lessons fall into the latter category.
The first lesson was just as expected...lots of screaming and crying. But then he surprised us and actually started to enjoy it a bit. He didn't necessarily want to go but he didn't complain about it either. He got completely dressed and ready one week all by himself and was proud each week when he finished the lesson and received his coveted reward for "trying his best", a little bag of skittles.
And then there was yesterday. Levi realized it was swim lesson day around 2pm, about 3 hours before we needed to leave. And he used those 3 hours to let me know how he felt about it. I almost ran away around 4pm but then decided to stay. I really thought he would calm down, but he definitely did not. Good thing Michael came home a couple minutes early because I would not have been able to get him in the car. He screamed the entire way there, causing me to "lose it" a few times. I had responded appropriately to his tantrum for the first couple of hours and then I lost all rational thought.
I was not able to calm him down. He was crying as he got in the water and then whimpered as his teacher attempted to calm him down. I sat down along the edge of the room with all the other moms smiling as they watched the successes of their happy children. I realized that my heart was pounding and a few tears rolled down my cheeks. Why was he acting this way? Why couldn't I reason with him? Why couldn't I calm him down? It really was pathetic to watch him - he could not settle down.
I prayed for him as I sat there, that the Lord would comfort him and give me wisdom to know how to deal with this. I had my eyes closed most of the time, not because I was praying, but because I simply could not watch. But then I opened them and saw the most precious thing.
Levi's little friend Meredith climbed up onto the side of the pool and sat as close to Levi as she possibly could. She put her little 3-year-old arm around him and patted his shoulder. I couldn't hear what she was saying but she spoke right into his face. And then she kissed his cheek and shoulder. And then she just kept smiling at him. It was precious. It was more than precious. I really shed some tears and called Meredith's mom, Mindy, to share the sweetness.
Although it would be a great story if I now said that Levi immediately calmed down and loved the remainder of the lesson, it didn't happen that way. He did, however, calm down a bit and decided to just look miserable instead of angry. I think I was the one who had a more significant change of heart. I was reminded that I won't always be the one to comfort my children. I thanked the Lord for Meredith's friendship to Levi and asked Him to continue to bless my boys with sweet friends. While I can do my best and give them all I have, sometimes God will use others to bless, encourage and challenge them. So I will continue to pray that God will bring godly boys and girls into their lives to walk alongside them during all the "swim lessons" of their lives.
It's now Wednesday, which means I thankfully have 6 more days until we tackle this issue again. Who knows, maybe Levi will walk in smiling next week. Or maybe I will run away next Tuesday sometime around 4pm.
