The new Ben

Benjamin Elliott. Our laid-back, sweet as can be, "easy" child. Not anymore. Yes, he is still just about the sweetest and happiest kid you will ever meet, but easy and laid-back he is no longer. He will be 2 in about 3 months but emotionally, he is all there. Here are all the reasons that we now have a new Ben living with us.

Ben has always been easily distracted. If he was upset, you could usually calm him down by giving him "froggy" and he was fine. Not anymore. He has discovered tantrums and he has them perfected. He falls on the floor, kicks his legs and bangs his arms on the floor. And he doesn't stop. It's scary and hilarious all at the same time.


He's OBSESSED with yogurt. He doesn't just want it at breakfast, lunch and dinner. He wants it about every hour. He gets a spoon out of the drawer and cries at the refrigerator for "Diego" (sometimes I buy them Diego yogurt but he calls all yogurt "Diego"). When he's done eating it, he cries for more and then throws a tantrum when we don't let him have it.

He has found a way to get back at his big brother - biting. Oh, I'm praying hard that he doesn't become a "biter", but it looks like he enjoys using this tactic during fights with Levi. And he bites hard. Let's just say there are marks and lots of crying involved. Part of me is happy that he's fighting back but couldn't he choose a more socially acceptable form of fighting?


He has decided that Mama and only Mama can put him to bed. For a while now Michael has been putting Ben to bed, but all of a sudden Ben has decided that this will not work. He screams "Mama" over and over again and then runs to me and wedges his face between my legs. We weren't going to let him have his way last night and Michael tried so hard to put him to bed only to have Ben scream and throw every book on the floor that he tried to read. Michael just put him in his crib, thinking he would eventually stop screaming and go to sleep. He didn't. He cried so hard I thought he was going to vomit. I went in there and he calmed down. We read a story. I put him in his crib. He went right to sleep. Ben won.

He loves to throw food on the floor. We have disciplined him for this since he was a baby but he just thinks it's hilarious. I, on the other hand, do not. A few days ago he started pulling this trick. I walked over to his chair, sat down in front of him and before I could say anything he yelled "NO!" right in my face. This didn't go over very well. (Actually, I had to keep myself from cracking up because the look on his face was just hilarious!)


On a positive note, his vocabulary is rapidly expanding. He now knows the names of every Thomas train and car from the movie "Cars". He sings lots of songs, can say most of his ABCs and can count to 10 (often skipping some numbers). He also says words like "mine", "no" and "push" about every hour. Grandma was trying to help him with a toy the other day and he pulled it from her, said "mine", ran into the laundry room and shut the door. Poor guy. He thinks even his Grandma is trying to take things from him.


He is obsessed with television. He is also opinionated about what he watches and definitely makes his wants known. With Thomas, Sesame Street, Diego, Veggie Tales, and Little Einsteins, he would watch TV all day if we let him. Don't try to talk to him or get his attention while he's watching TV because it won't work. He is completely absorbed in another world. This trait is definitely inherited from his daddy. I took the boys to get their hair cut today at a kids salon where there is a TV in front of every chair. Ben ran from screen to screen - he was in heaven. Some kids cry when they get their hair cut. He cried when we left the salon.

Did I mention that he is still the sweetest and happiest kid in the world? He really is. His giggles and smiles are enough to melt anyone's heart. He is just so much fun to be with. But, Lord, please help us because I think we are in for a few surprises.

A piece of waffle

It was a tough day and I was ready to go to bed. The problem - it was only 8:00 am. The day started out well - Levi woke up early and cuddled in bed with me for a few minutes. We had a long talk about his poor behavior choices the night before and about how we were going to be kind to his little brother today. I thought we were doing well until we went in to get Ben up. We hadn't even left Ben's room when they started fighting over a toy. Hadn't we just talked about this? There was lots of arguing and Levi ended up in his room for a while. We both needed a break from each other.

About 30 minutes later Levi was eating his breakfast. I think we were both determined to put the morning behind us and make it a good day. Ben was off playing and Graham was happily hanging out on his blanket. Levi, trying so hard to be good, finished his breakfast and asked to be excused. So far, so good. I told him he could go play after he brought his plate and bowl over to the counter. He started to get upset, as he could hear Ben in the playroom and could hardly stand that he wasn't involved in the action. I wasn't budging, however, and insisted that he bring his dishes over. After some whining he brought over his bowl but left the plate on the table. I told him he also had to bring over his plate before he could go play.

"Levi, it will only take a second. You could have been playing by now if you would have done this the first time I asked."

The whining got more intense and my passionate child started to get quite upset. I then realized that it was not at all about the plate.

Ben walked by with some coveted cars and it was just killing Levi not to be a part of the action. But NOT enough to just obey and get on with it. He had to whine and cry for a while. Then, i couldn't believe what I saw him do.

Levi took one piece of his leftover waffle off the plate and threw it on the table. He then picked up the plate and angrily put it on the counter. He mumbled something about "but not that piece". He was still sniffling and ran off to play.

I was a bit stunned, and my first instinct was to go get him, yell, & make him pick up the food. A power struggle at its finest. I then realized that this wasn't about obedience at all. It was about his heart. So I chose a different route.

I went and got him and we sat on the couch for a while and talked about what had happened. We talked about the morning, his brother, and why he needs to learn to obey. One of Levi's love languages is definitely touch so we cuddled while we talked. It went well. I then offered to help him pick up the food so he could go play. We walked into the kitchen together, he put the food into the sink, and he was off.

It didn't take long for me to see how Levi and I are so much alike. Obedience is hard, especially when my heart is troubled or being pulled in the wrong direction. I could almost hear the Lord saying, "now you know how I feel!".

How often am I obedient with most things but yet holding back in that one little area? Almost as if I say, "Ok, Lord, I obeyed you mostly. Just ignore that one small piece of waffle. I'm not giving you my all."

But obedience for obedience sake isn't what God wants from me. He wants my heart. And his first inclination isn't to yell at me and demand that I obey. He is patient, full of grace, and always draws me to intimacy with him. The amazing thing is that intimacy with Him always leads me to obedience.

Lord, give me a heart that longs to know you deeper and more intimately each day, leading me to a life of obedience. And give me wisdom to teach these things to Levi, Ben & Graham - that I might always respond with grace yet require obedience.

There's no one quite like Aunt Barbi

My Aunt Barbi (known as Barbara to everyone else) visited us from Santa Fe for a few days this past week. We all had so much fun! Aunt Barbi is no ordinary Aunt. She has loved me dearly my entire life and now she loves my kiddos just the same. Of course, Levi and Ben fell in love with her. Although Levi hadn't spent significant time with her in about a year, he remembered her quite well, and Ben ran right to her for a hug. She played hard with the boys for 3 days - chasing them around the house, playing trains and cars, reading books, playing in Levi's clubhouse, and just about anything else they asked her to do.


Probably the reason that the boys fell in love with their Aunt Barbi is that she is truly a kid at heart. She wore them out, and I think she was quite exhausted as well! My boys, along with their 7 cousins, are blessed to have her as a Great Aunt. I know that my sisters, brother and I have been blessed to have her in our lives.


My Aunt Barbi has never hidden her love for us. She tells us often how much she loves us and dotes on all of us. She goes a little too far sometimes. Did you know that I am a mix between Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba? We had a good laugh at that one, but Michael got in trouble for laughing a little too hard. I think her reality can be a bit distorted at times! And according to Aunt Barbi, my children are also very advanced and next to perfect. She probably wouldn't say that now after spending 3 days with them!


Aunt Barbi moved on to my sister's house for a few days where I'm sure she encountered the other "most wonderful children in the world". We are so grateful for the time we had with her. Thank you for loving us, Aunt Barbi. We love you and miss you already!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."  

Ephesians 5:1-2 

May you feel extra loved today!

Our love ~ Levi, Ben and Graham

The exersaucer

There's something about the exersaucer. In my mind, it isn't just a toy. It's a milestone.

I've never been shy about the fact that I don't love the newborn stage. I love my newborn babies, but not necessarily the stage they are in. There's something about it. There's so much uncertainty - are they hungry, tired, getting enough to eat? Then, of course, there's the lack of sleep issue of which I have never been a fan. Don't get me wrong - there are parts of the newborn stage that I love...all the cuddling and how they sleep so soundly in my arms. Oh, and the sweet newborn smell.

I went to Graham's 4 month check-up a couple of weeks ago and the doctor asked if I had gotten out the exersaucer yet. "What?" I said. "Is it already time for that?" These last 4 months have gone by so quickly that I still thought of Graham as a tiny newborn. The pediatrician also asked if he had rolled over yet. "No, not at all," I said. "He's nowhere close to that." He rolled over two days later.

So we came home and got out the exersaucer. Graham loves it and I love it. He's happier in there - he's able to see what's going on and he's able to interact with his brothers - yes, they definitely keep him well entertained.

The newborn stage is over! Graham is settled. I usually know what he needs and he has a semi-schedule. He is such a happy little guy and brings much joy into our home.

Can we talk about the ladder?

I left a little detail out of my last post, probably because I want to forget about it and believe that, yes, February is going to be a new month. But, it was an incident that deserves mention and while I cringe thinking about it, I also laugh out loud every time.

On Saturday we were enjoying an unusually quiet afternoon getting ready to have some friends over for dinner. Ben and Graham were asleep and Levi was helping me make a chocolate cake. We had some time to spare and Michael thought it would be a good time to hang something on the wall that I had been asking him to help with. It was to be put very high, on the wall above our front door. Michael brought in the extension ladder. I was skeptical when I saw it, thinking that I would much prefer a step ladder, but I went along with it when he said the others weren't tall enough.

After placing the ladder, Michael told me that I would have to be the one to climb up there because only I knew how it needed to be hung. He kindly offered to hold the ladder. I climbed confidently to the top but then noticed that the ledge above the door was full of dust and cobwebs. I told him I needed to clean it off first, so being the servant that he is, he left the ladder to get me a rag. I thought I was getting down to get a rag so we were definitely not on the same page.

Before I could say anything, I saw the top of the ladder begin to slide. The next few minutes are a blur, but basically, the ladder plummeted to the floor with me hanging on for dear life.

It could have been bad - really bad. Michael ran to catch me and broke my fall on the left side. I did, however, cut up my right leg and hurt my right hand pretty badly. We were sure it was broken (well, Michael was sure and I refused to think about it) but after a trip to the emergency room, discovered that it wasn't. Hallelujah!

Michael kindly said right after the fall, "I should have been the one up there. You weren't very secure." I looked at him and said, no I yelled, "Are you kidding? I didn't fall off the ladder! The ladder fell and I just went with it!" Yes, I'm sure the ladder could sense my insecurity and decided to plummet to the floor. He said he meant that he should have been the one to fall. Remember, I said he has a servant's heart :).

Levi is now traumatized and will probably never look at a ladder again without trembling. He quickly tells everyone we see that his mom fell off a ladder - thanks Levi. And about ten times a day he says to me, "Mom, can we talk about the ladder?" I have a feeling that we'll be talking about the ladder for a long time...

Moving on to a new month

God will never give you more than you can handle.

I hear it all the time. It's one of those things that people say when they don't know what else to say. It sounds encouraging, inspirational and deep.

Thankfully, it just isn't true. I don't know about you, but God has given me much more than I can handle. If what he brought my way was based on my abilities, I wouldn't have much (good or bad). Thankfully, God has never given me more than HE can handle!

The month of January is a very good example of this.

I mentioned before that our family had been sick for a LONG time. It's over now but I'm not exaggerating when I say that it lasted 31 days! We have never experienced anything like it...coughs, the stomach flu, bad colds, sinus infections, ear infections in all 3 kids, eye infections, high fevers & sweet little Graham had RSV. It just never ended! My accounting minded hubby counted up all the doctor visit and medication co-pays and discovered that we spent over $600. That is one expensive virus!

With Michael out of town or working long hours for most of the month, I was at home caring for 3 sick little kids while not feeling well myself. We were "stuck inside" as Levi likes to say and weren't able to do much. I realized how pathetic it was when I went to pick up Levi from preschool one day and felt like a whole new woman just because I got out of the house for 30 minutes. I was told that the weather was pretty bad over the month, but I never really cared because it didn't affect me - we didn't leave the house! The month is not one I would like to repeat.

Now, I'm not writing this because I need to vent or because I want anyone to feel sorry for us. I do realize that our life is very easy compared to many others and our "hardships" are pathetic compared to what others are experiencing. But I don't want to miss what we learned over the month. Am I thankful for those sick days? No, I'm definitely not there, but I am thankful that God was so good to us and for all he taught us.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Weak we definitely were and God used those days to show His strength. He cared for us and loved on us like never before. Putting almost everything else aside, I found myself actually enjoying the time inside with my kids. We read a lot of books, played many games and watched movie after movie. Levi and Ben actually learned to get along and even seemed to start enjoying each other. Levi has always shown some jealousy toward Ben, but we started to hear him begging us to wake up Ben from a nap so they could play.

The boys (and us!) learned a lot about prayer. For example, Levi had a bad cough and was praying every night for God to take away his cough, and out of habit, he just kept praying for that same thing even a while after the cough was gone. Until one night...

"Jesus, please take my cough away." He paused, looked at me very excitedly and said, "Mommy, I don't have a cough anymore!". I just smiled and told him that God had answered his prayers. Without any prompting, he then changed his prayer to, "Jesus, thank you for taking Levi's cough away." He has continued to say this every night and probably will for many months!

I long for my boys to see the Lord taking care of us during times like this and for Him to be glorified as we are made weak. I pray that their strength will be from the joy found in their Lord. So, when life comes at my family with huge things (as I know it will and it hurts my heart to even think about), we will know the Lord will be there too. He has brought us through these little things despite our inadequacies, and we can have faith that His joy will continue to be our strength, despite our circumstances.

January is over, and we're moving on to a new month! We're praying for a quieter month with much less frequent trips to the doctor and fewer prescriptions. And the next time someone kindly tells me that God won't give me more than I can handle, I'll just smile, say thanks and then thank God for loving me much more than that!